Test Information:
	Test Subject: Standard Twinkie Control Subject: Standard Twinkie Test Location: Basement, Lovett College, Rice University Microwave Model: Unknown Start Time: Tuesday, May 2, 1995 19:14 CST Stop Time: Tuesday, May 2, 1995 19:22 CST

Test Description:
	To test the reaction of a Twinkie to extreme radiation, the Twinkie was microwaved for 10 minutes on "HI".

Observations:
	Figure 1:Kids, don't try this at home! The experimental Twinkie inside the microwave (obscured by copious amounts of smoke) Before Test: Before the test, both the control and the experimental Twinkies appeared within the range that would be described as a "normal" Twinkie. Immediate Results: As soon as the microwave was started, the Twinkie began to ooze "creamy filling" out onto the bottom of the microwave. After several seconds, the center of the Twinkie collapsed in on itself. The creamy filling bubbled and began to turn brown. Approximately 30 seconds into the test, smoke began to pour forth from inside the microwave (see Fig. 1). A strong odor of burned marshmallows began to fill the room. Figure 2:The experimental Twinkie immediately after the experiment's conclusion, next to the control Twinkie (the control is on the right) The control still had not changed, but after one minute and thirteen seconds of radiation, the noxious fumes almost overcame the scientists, and the test was aborted. Upon removal from the microwave, the Twinkie was hard to the touch, with a large black section covering half of its upper surface. Strings of brownish material dribbled from the Twinkie. There was still no change in the control (see Fig. 2). Long Term Results: In the next several minutes, the brown liquid congealed to form a hard, stringy substance. There was no other change, nor was their any change in the control. The picture on the right shows the control and subject Twinkies at the conclusion of the test. The subject is on the left. Note the color change and collapsed center. The straight brown pieces on the edge of the napkin were pieces of filling that dribbled off the napkin and hardened into little "fillingcicles."

Conclusions:
	Microwaving a Twinkie is a bad idea. If you want to cook a Twinkie, may we suggest the rapid oxidation technique? This is an extremely hazardous test. Do not attempt this experiment without proper safety equipment, including (but not limited to) adequate ventilation, respirators, fire extinguishers, Sweet Tarts, and plenty of those little tags on mattresses that say "Do not remove."

Possible Applications:
	If one wanted to set off the equivalent of a smoke bomb in a place where all one had was a Twinkie and a microwave, one could duplicate this experiment, setting the microwave for 10 minutes on "HI". This would give enough time for one to run away quickly, while the resulting smoke and odor would be enough to leave nightmares in the minds of your victims for a long time.

Last edited July 2, 1999